War is Peace - Freedom is Slavery - Ignorance is Strength

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Catching Up

Having been super fucking busy of late, I haven't had a lot of time to post here, but since the One Year Anniversary of this little rag is drawing near, I feel somewhat obligated to crank some shit out, if only to keep up appearances.

First and foremost on my item/action list is a link to the Puto of the Millennium, courtesy of Nebur's World. The only thing I have to add is, Ann Coulter is A MAN BABY! Seriously, check the adam's apple and the jaw-line on that bitch. 100% tranny!

Now, for a quick detour into retrospective mode, let's talk about how SpeedBalling came to be, and where it's going.

About 18 months ago I was holed up in a crack motel in Phoenix, working for yet another customer service call center, strung out on meth and coke, and generally hating life.

Interestingly enough, when the call center I worked for instituted an "employee of the month" program I won the first month, and would have won the second month if I hadn't split to come back to Oregon. So much for "drug testing" weeding out undesirable employees.

Anyway, I was down in PHX and my friend Mr. A got obsessed with the idea of "blogging." Initially, I was quite skeptical about starting a blog, because I classified it as "geek bullshit," but after months of badgering, I finally agreed to do it.

By the time that we started our blogs, I was back in Oregon - still strung out - but at least on my home turf, and no longer plagued by the impositions of the Pheonix lifestyle.

[In general I oppose violence and the use of weaponry, but during my time in Pheonix I slowly escelated from travelling naked to carrying pepper spray, then a stun gun, and then a knife. I was cruising pawn shops for a piece by the time I finally left.]

So, back in Portland I started this blog and entitled in "SpeedBalling."

Technically speaking "speedballing" is the act of shooting coke and heroin in the same dose, which is something I have never done - in fact I have never done heroin at all. I chose "speedballing" because I felt it had a certain kind of edge to it - a definite air of mystique - and also because there is this guy in New Zealand who sells instructional videos about a fishing technique that he has dubbed "speedballing," and that shit cracks me the fuck up.

Over the course of a year I have posted little snippets and excerpts from my life, most of them highlighting the exciting/unique/other-than-legal events that I have participated in. For better or worse, this is a tiny cross section of my life - most of the time I just slog my way through a shitty/meaningless 9-5 like everyone else.

The funny thing is that other people actually find my life interesting. Every month several hundred unique visitors pop up in my logs, and a few hundred people have taken the "official" speedballing quiz, and as of now they have rated it at an average of 4.2/5.

Looking forward, I can't guarantee what the future might hold, but unexpected incidents aside, I plan to celebrate my one year anniversary with the posting of two tutorials - both in the same vein as my "Computer Security Essentials" - entitled "How to insulate yourself from informants - with total impunity from Law Enforcement," and "how to ship a half-ounce of confectioner's sugar through customs - without it being mistaken for cocaine/heroin/pure-e."

Keep your ear to the ground, and Fuck the Police.

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