SpeedBalling

In our "team" meeting today my TL asked us all to come up with ideas on how we could improve CRT (call time) and adhearance (staying on schedule) since our team is hovering somewhere between last and last place in these, and a few other categories.

As it happens, I am number two on our team, and comfortably above the established call center goals, so I have a certain amount of license to fuck around - not that I woundn't anyway.

So this is what I wrote for my "suggestion" about improving adhearance...

I think they need to drop the whole "drug free workplace" thing. Seriously, how am I supposed to maintain my adhearance when i have to go into aux-2 ever 5 minutes, just so I can go to the bathroom to smoke my crack?

Actually, I have many insights into how our workplace environment could be improved, and I am generally pretty willing to share them, especially when I'm cracked the fuck out, and I've slept about 5 hours in the past 3 days.

Amongst the gems are these:

"These people don't need customer service. What they need is to finish the eight grade."

"It's not my fault this guy's parents shared the same uncles."

"Until now I didn't realize that calling customer service was an event in the Special Olympics."

Word. These days, working in a call center is too.