War is Peace - Freedom is Slavery - Ignorance is Strength

Monday, November 29, 2004

So Much to be Thankful For

And Klonopin is right at the top of the list!

I did Thanksgiving in the only kind of style that is befitting me. Loads of booze. Coke. Scrips. Delirious driving. Truck stop breaks for hot dogs and beef jerky. Clubs. Whore houses. And I think I pulled my tongue. But not at the truck stop.

The day itself was dominated by a little bit of the old "family dinner," of which I have only vague recollections.

The main thread involves my nephew who is obsessed with Godzilla, and has some kind of weird video or game that involves "Classic Godzilla," "90's Godzilla," and "Godzilla 2000."

As is typical of five-year-olds, my nephew has an active imagination, and so he is prone to whispering things like "there are a thousand Godzilla 2000's outside right now" in my ear, in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner.

I found this somewhat alarming, but initially just tried to ignore it. Then, about five-minutes later he leaned over, and in a very heated tone, whispered "now there are a million Godzilla 2000's outside."

"Jesus, those fu... - pigs - are breeding fast," I said, "we better do something."

As soon as we finished are food we went out to the garage to stock up on weaponry for our Godzilla hunt. I gave him a cheap water gun, and took a nice Super Soaker for myself, and then grabbed a crow bar just in case.

"What do you need that for?"

"In case any of these yellow-bellied swine try to mutiny," I replied.

"What's a mutiny?"

"Never mind. This is my secret weapon against Classic Godzilla, just in case he tries to make a sneak attack."

And so went Thanksgiving.

I am on the verge of getting another job now, so my life is about to take a turn for the suckier, but the upside is that I should have a solid budget for Christmas, which is fast approaching, and should be just as interesting.

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