War is Peace - Freedom is Slavery - Ignorance is Strength

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

All Aboard the Short Bus

I was gonna go to court
before i got high
i was gonna pay my child support
but then i got high
they took my whole paycheck
and i know why
cause i got high
because i got high
because i got high

Where to start, where to start...

I was sitting around last night, (monday I think) drunk and high, and watching C-SPAN, which happened to be airing the Senate hearings on the reorganization of the intelligence community. I took some notes on the names of the witnesses, but I don't have those now, so, to make it short, the three witnesses were a bunch of fogey hacks who had served as Secretary of Defense during past administrations (Nixon, Reagan, and Clinton respectively).

In short, most of the testimony was bullshit, and the senators present - McCaine, Lieberman, Clinton, Kennedy, etc, etc - only really showed up for the photo op, then promptly left, probably to smoke some rock and solicit prostitutes. [clearly, this is speculation, and is not meant to imply or state that any of the said individuals actually engaged in the illegal activities of "smoking rock" or "soliciting prostitutes."]

The "five-minutes-of-fame" absurdity reached its peak when Susan Collins (is that her name?) of Maine, who speaks in extremely halting tones, reminiscent of a person recovering from a terrible speech defect or mental impairment, took up her questioning. Not once, but twice, she referred to former Secretary of Defense Frank Carlucci, as Mr. Salucci!. Fuck! I mean - jesus people, come-the-fuck on - at least get the fucking name right! Even I can do that.

In conclusion: rest easy my friends. Our national security is safe in the hands of a pack of media-whore dunces. And that's just the senate. Don't get me started on the executive branch.

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