SpeedBalling

...Luckily there are plenty of 'tards posting online personals.

Take this one, from Hot or Not:

I'm a 20 y/o Christian & a college softball player. I'm honest & some what [emphasis added] intelligent.:) I luv meeting new people & playin most all sports. Or jus gettin dirty outdoors! If U wanna know more, email me!

Does she mean "somewhat?" Is that supposed to be ironic? Judging by the fact that this girl is a "christian" I kind of doubt it.

Another:

Hi! I love my friends! I enjoy talking to every person.. Jesus is my friend. and hmm i like music. Preferably punk. Oh and I love teaching the little babies at church. My friends and God make me the happiest..umm yes..woot.

Somebody needs to take their Ritalin, or give it to me.